last night was a blast. lots of drinkin', meeting new people, and lots of fun. ryan's bday was awesome. too bad i got really really trashed and fell asleep in the truck. on the way home this morning/afternoon, i told david how fucked up it would be if i came home and found out my grandfather had died. well, as soon as i walked in the door, i got a call from my mom, saying his kidneys had failed and it was only a matter of hours/days now. my dads telling me we might have to fly tues. or the next day. i really don't want to go to ny. i want to remember him how he was, but if i don't go i'd be the bad seed in the family. i'm really depressed. i don't want to sound selfish, but i really was looking forward to halloween and being a faerie princess/cinderella from ever after [the costume works either way]. i'm gonna miss david, the premiere of alien and haunted houses too. i know its selfish to think about those things right now, but its been hard enough trying to keep a cool head about all the bad news i've received lately [katie's death, my grandpa, my grandma, house troubles, no money, no hours, etc.]. this isn't the greatest time at all, and i looked forward to the good things so i could oversee the bad.
tonight was nice though. dad made dinner for me and david, we watched 28 days later, and now i'm about ready to go to bed. too many things on my mind and i don't feel like being awake to think about them.
i love you all, and if i'm not here on halloween, have a great one for me, i know i'll be thinking of you all.